Tuesday, September 13, 2016

The Future of Painted Nubbs

*Nothing To Disclose*

(pokes head around corner) hi guys! You may have noticed that I've been absent from all social media for about a month and I was posting inconsistently before that. I'm kinda hoping this post will shed some light on that.

I started this blog because I wanted to share my love of polish and because I was incredibly bored with my life if I'm being honest. I've met some really cool people and enjoyed these last four years. I started working back in April and I hoped that it wouldn't change anything but it did unfortunately. But I still tried to keep up.

Then my grandpa took a turn. (If you guys weren't aware my wife's grandparents have lived with us for years as they were unable to live on their own) He suffered a stroke on my birthday and was placed in rehab after leaving the hospital. While he was there we did finally get a positive confirmation of his Parkinson's disease and his dementia.

Once he came home he wasn't quiet the same. And as his dementia advanced it became even worse. By the end he was violent and not the man I had known the past eight years and who treated me as one of his own. He had one of the most rapidly progressing cases of Parkinson's that I've ever heard of (my maternal grandmothers boyfriend suffered with it almost my entire life) and he deteriorated quickly. He finally passed June 27, 2016. I will be forever grateful to the wonderful hospice team he had that he was able to be comfortable for those last few days.

(fast forward two months)
Wow, I cant believe its been two months since I sat down to write this post and try to explain my absence. Okay, lets try to catch up: I got a promotion at work so more hours+more responsibility=less time for nails. I also have completely lost all interest in polish and nail art. I have just been slapping a base coat on to try and protect them but I haven't had the desire to enough use a plain color in a while.

But that's not the only area of my life that's been affected. I have lost my passion for reading. If you guys knew me outside of this world then you would know how much I love books, I can devour whole novels in one sitting. Confession time: I don't even have a desire to read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child :o I never was a huge TV watcher but now I don't even watch the shows I've been following for years. I think my dvr has to be nearing full and I cant bring myself to sort through them.

My wife and I also have some things we have to work through as this is affecting her worse than me (this was not only her grandfather but also her adopted father). We both are having some depression and we don't have the best coping skills. We getting through it though.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this anymore, I'm just rambling at this point. I guess what I want to say is thank you! To those who have left comments, liked photos on my social media or even just read my words. You guys kept me going lots of days. I wish I could give me back to you than this. but this is all I have. I hope to be back at some point but right now my hearts just not in it. So, I wont say goodbye, Ill say see you later.

PS: I still buzz around instagram, I just don't post. Feel free to leave me a comment, Ill eventually get back to you lol.

Love Ashlee <3

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